The Most Interesting Big Game Ad - Most Interesting Terms & Conditions

We don’t always write extensive, ironclad, indisputable terms and conditions….

But when we do, they’re exactly 12,219 words long.

These Terms and Conditions (“Terms”) govern any attempt relating to the acquisition of the Most Interesting Big Game Advertisement (the “Ad”) by a television network (the “Purchaser”).

By continuing to read past this sentence, Purchaser irrevocably agrees to be bound by these Terms in perpetuity and possibly beyond.

Stay legally-bound, my friends…

1. Financial Qualifications

Purchaser must remit payment of $8,000,000 USD, as well as:

• One (1) treasure chest from the underwater wreckage of a sunken galleon, naval warship, or pirate brigantine.
• Treasure includes expressly the following items: pearls, gold ingots, or deeply cursed dubloons.

Purchaser assumes all legal, spiritual, and bodily risk for aforementioned deeply cursed dubloons.

1.2 The 7-10 Split Proviso

Purchaser must also remit payment of a size 15 bowling ball that has hit at least one-hundred 7-10 splits - with the accompanying score cards to prove it.

• Scorecards must be signed, dated, and include mention of any concession items consumed during the duration of the match.

1.3 Proof of Artistic Merit

Purchaser must submit a watercolor painting of an endangered rhinocerous.

• In addition to the watercolor painting, Purchaser must submit an artist’s statement detailing why watercolor was chosen as the medium and what the rhinoceros represents.

1.4 Sword of Destiny Requirement

Purchaser must also present payment in the form of one (1) authentic Scottish claymore sword.

• The Claymore must be verifiably Scottish in origin, forged no later than the 18th century. Replica, ceremonial, or decorative swords shall be deemed null and void.

2. Failure, Default & Disqualification

Failure to satisfy any provision, subsection, or clause shall result in immediate disqualification.

Completion of all requirements does not guarantee purchase eligibility. Dos Equis reserves the right to decline any purchasers.

BY PROCEEDING, PURCHASER ACKNOWLEDGES THAT THEY HAVE READ, MOSTLY UNDERSTOOD, AND FULLY ACCEPTED THESE TERMS.

Stay thirsty, my friends.